Try this out …

Think to yourself, “I have to stand up! I have to stand up!” And as you think that thought, stay seated.

What happened? I’m betting you were able to stay seated just fine even though your mind was telling you to get up, right?

I asked you to do this exercise to illustrate that although our thoughts influence our behaviour, they cannot control our behaviour. There is a BIG difference there.

The more we take our thoughts as literal truths, as rules or commands that we must obey, the more influence our thoughts have over us.

But, are thoughts really truths or facts?

If you’re like me, you’ve probably had this thought more than once in your life: “I can’t go for a walk because I’m too tired.” Does being tired make you physically unable to exercise? Of course not. You can feel tired and still exercise.

That is a reason.

A fact would be something like this: “I can’t go for a walk because a spinal injury has paralyzed my legs.” Is this true? Yes. It is physically impossible to walk in this case.

That is a fact.

While this is a very obvious example, it illustrates the point that we do this kind of thing all the time. We blur the difference between reasons and facts. And are reasons not just excuses?

As soon as we face any sort of challenge, our minds come up with a whole host of reasons not to do it. It’s an automatic response. “I’m too tired.” “It’s too hard.” “I will fail.” “It’s expensive.” “It will take too long.” “I’m afraid.” “I feel too anxious.” And so on.

And that’s okay. As I said, that is our natural, automatic, human response.

However, we have the choice to recognize those thoughts for what they are – as just reasons, not facts or reality.

So how can you tell a reason from a fact? If you are honest with yourself, most of the time you’ll know. However, if you are genuinely unsure whether the thought you are having is an excuse for inaction or a statement of fact, I recommend using The Kidnap Test.

Ask yourself, “If the person I care about more than anyone else in the world were kidnapped, and the kidnappers told me that they will never release the person until I take this particular action towards my goals, would I take the action?”

This is a hypothetical and highly unlikely situation. But think about what’s really at stake here … your life. Do you want to live a life where you do the things that are truly meaningful to you? Or do you want to live a life where your thoughts inhibit you and you feel like you are stuck in this purgatory of inaction?

“Maybe it’s not that important to me,” you might say to yourself.

Maybe, but are you being truly honest with yourself or are you just coming up with another reason? Check with your values.

A value is your deepest desire for the sort of person you want to be and the things you want to do in your lifetime. A value represents what you want to stand for. So, ask yourself, “Is this goal something you really value?”

“If this were really important to me, I’d already being doing it.”

Again, this is another reason in disguise. You reason with yourself that if you haven’t taken action yet it must mean that it can’t really be that important to you, which means it’s not something you value, so then there’s no point in putting the effort into it.

If only it were that easy. But that kind of reasoning is based on the false assumption that humans naturally act in line with their values. If that were the case, would there be a need for therapists, counsellors, coaches, self-help books, laws, etc?

The fact is that many of us don’t act on our values for long periods of time. The good news is that a value, no matter how neglected or forgotten it may be, is still always there. It’s still an essential part of your life. And it’s never too late to act on it.

“But the reasons seem SO convincing.”

They are only convincing if you forget to recognize that they are just thoughts. Here are three techniques you can use to ensure that you remember that:

Acknowledge it. Each time a reason pops into your head say to yourself, “That’s a reason.” Or, “I’m having the thought I can’t do this because …”

Use the kidnap question. “If the life of _________ (loved one) depended on it, could I attempt this goal even with all those reasons not to?”

Name the story. Try naming the stories underlying the reasons. For example, “Oh there’s that ‘Too Tired’ story again.” Or, the “Not Enough Time” story or “I Feel Too Anxious” story.

Over time and with practice you’ll get better at doing this. You can simply let these thoughts come and go.

Remember, thoughts cannot control your actions. And you even have control over how much influence they have over you. How great is that?

If you are interested in learning more about how to overcome fear, anxiety and self-doubt come hangout with Candice on May 8 at 8 pm ET. I will be sharing the six step process that helped me overcome social anxiety and start living a life according to my values.

Candice Esposito, aka Sault Naturopath, is a naturopathic doctor and director of Algoma Natural Healing Clinic located in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. Candice helps people with chronic health conditions like depression, hormone imbalances, obesity and fatigue, overcome these concerns using gentle, effective natural therapies. Learn what is a naturopathic doctor and access other articles written by Dr. Esposito.